Abuse Bites--True Love Heals

Bullies Are Cowards

2012-02-10T13:13:00.001-05:00

Bullies are Cowards—I know because I was one. And it’s weird because I hated fighting, the sight of blood, and I never wanted to hurt anyone. But for once, no one was hurting me. And I had this amazing power—people feared me, everyone wanted to be my friend. I ruled. But underneath that tough bully exterior I was always afraid that someone bigger and badder than me would come along and pound my face in.

There were always new bullies moving in, from Lansing, Flint, and Detroit, who had a worse reputation that I was terrified of. I was afraid to walk up town, go to school, and even leave my house.

I’d like to say I was a hero and I toughed it out in school, but I wasn’t. Instead I ran away and lived on the streets with an older boyfriend who swore to love and protect me. I’d been bullied and abused most of my life, so I was glad to get away from it all. For once I thought I was finally free. But that freedom didn’t last long, because I was even more abused out on the road. For two years we hitchhiked from state to state taking rides with some of America’s most wanted and deadliest.

Aside from being homeless, penniless and starving, I was kidnapped, raped, forced into dancing and prostitution, and nearly killed many times. My own boyfriend even turned on me out there.

But there was one thing that was a sure thing, whenever I would PRAY for food, a ride, or to be saved from a near death situation, God always came through in a miraculous way and answered my prayer. I didn’t understand it, because I knew I wasn’t living right, didn’t deserve it, but when I cried out to him, he heard me.

God is good! Even to Cowards & Bullies! Because God understands that bullies are usually hurt, abused, terrified individuals, just like me! If you've been the bully or bullied all your life, why not get free today? I did!

For more about Lisa Freeman, speaking, or her book "Run For Your Life" based on her true story of being an abused teen runaway, log onto abusebites.com.

Struggling With Bullying Issues?

2011-12-16T09:33:00.001-05:00

Are you struggling with bullying issues in your home, school, or community?

Have you tried various anti-bullying workshops and strategies, but still don't seem to be getting anywhere with students or parents?

Why don't you let us help!

*We're Experienced: We are all abuse survivors who have been both the bully and bullied throughout life. We've shared our workshops in various schools, churches, and work places all over Michigan.

*We're Educated & Endorsed: We founded Abuse Bites Corp. from the ground up in 2005 (put together workshops for pre-school, children, teens and even adults), currently we work as the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA, and host a blog talk radio show "Bullying Matters" for Dreamcatchers for Abused Children.

*We're Empathetic: We understand all sides of bullying and teach others empathy, something's that lacking these days in homes, schools, and communities.

*We're Enthusiastic & Empowering: We're passionate about this anti-bullying message and empower and motivate others to Be The CHANGE they want to see in others. Our mission is to CHANGE HEARTS & SAVE LIVES in memory of our son, Brian, who passed away last year. He was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies.

*We're Effective: We offer healing workshops for all those who are affected by bullying and abuse: (victims, bystanders, the ones with bully behaviors as well as their families, and even staff). Many wounded hurting people are walking around. They are like time bombs waiting to go off. If their feelings and emotions aren't properly dealt with we might witness the next Columbine or worse. Hurt people, hurt people. Healed people, heal people.

*We're NOT Expensive: We're a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization that is passionate about the cause, not a paycheck! We know schools are struggling. We know everyone is struggling. That is why we are willing to work within the means of any reasonable budget. We are currently trying to raise funds for gas so we can offer low-income schools and communities FREE WORKSHOPS.

Too many times, people are simply putting a band aid on bullying. They offer help for the victim or target while putting the bully (those demonstrating bullying behaviors) in anger management classes. Bullying is not about anger; it's about power and control. And it's time the schools, we as parents, and entire communities realize this and take back the control from those with bullying behaviors, so we can have more time to focus on what's really important--education and empowering our young people and families to strive toward a better, safer future.

We'd love to send you more information, outlines of our workshops, or we'd even be willing to come to a meeting and share our program with your teachers and principals if you'd like. So please let us know how we can help you and your staff bring healing to your community! Thank you for your time. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Healing Projects Specialist, Bully Police USA

Email Us @ abusebites@gmail.com

Visite Us @ http://www.abusebites.com

ACCEPT or EXCEPT Gays & Lesbians & Those who are Different

2011-11-22T05:51:00.001-05:00

ACCEPTANCE

Some people are confused today about what bullying is. BULLYING can be as simple as not accepting someone, or excluding them from your little group, or making a verbal comment about their choice of lifestyle, moral or religious beliefs.

I will tell you I am a Christian, but I love and accept all people of various religions, race, creed, and sexual orientation. I may not agree with all their views, but I respect and love them. The only people we can change is us.

The Bible tells us in Mathew 7:5 that we are hypocrites when we are looking at the speck in someone else’s eye, without first removing the PLANK in our own.

My daughter has chosen to live in a lesbian relationship. Do I agree with her decision, not fully, but I do accept her decision and love her no matter what.

That’s how God is, he loves us so much that he gave each of us a free will and choice.

So as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, by loving and accepting all people, of all walks of life, and be the CHANGE that others need to see.

I’m an educator in the public schools as well. Acceptance and Differences are a couple of my favorite topics of discussion. With smaller children we use four very different looking puppets to display how different they are, but also to point out that underneath, just like us they are exactly the same—they’re puppets. For older children we play a dollar game. Each of seven kids are given various bills and coins that total a dollar. They all look very different, but they all equal the same, and have the same value just like us!

We are all different, yet very much the same.

We all want to feel accepted, valued and loved for who we are, not for how we look or the choices we make.

Matt’s Safe School Law just passed in Michigan. They finally accepted the law Kevin Epling and his wife Tammy have been working on for years in regard to their son Matt who committed suicide in relation to bullying. However, when the bill past, our legislature put a twist on that bill, that states anyone can still bully for moral or religious views. This is something that we as educators SHOULD NOT accept!

I hope you will stand with us and be the change that others need to see. Not only do we present workshops in schools, work places, and communities, but our goal is to leave each community better than when we came, and equipped with the tools they need to be the change. Safer Schools. Safer Families. Safer Communities.

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Healing Projects Specialist, Bully Police USA

Award Winning Author & Speaker

Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer

Http://www.abusebites.com Email: abusebites@gmail.com

Proposed bullying law could actually protect bullies - WNEM TV 5

2011-11-08T05:54:00.000-05:00

Proposed bullying law could actually protect bullies - WNEM TV 5

By Liz Gelardi, TV5 Reporter - bio | email

SAGINAW, MI (WNEM/AP) -

Proposed anti-bullying legislation could be a license to bully.

The Michigan Senate version of the bill might justify bullying based on religious or moral beliefs.

"I believe that nobody should be allowed to bully," said Lisa Freeman.

Lisa Freeman runs an anti-bullying workshop with her son Jeremiah.

"It goes against everything we're pretty much trying to teach."

The bill is called Matt's Safe School Law. It is named for Matt Epling, a teen who committed suicide after he was bullied. The law would require schools to draft anti-bullying policies, but supporters are now worried it could protect bullies.

A spokesman for the Republican House Speaker said Monday the clause doesn't have support, and it will be removed in a House version of the legislation.

Copyright 2011 WNEM. All rights reserved. The Associated Press contributed to this report

Contact Lisa Freeman @ 989-729-2124 via email @ abusebites@gmail.com or online via website @ http://www.abusebites.com

Help Kids Stop Bullying

2011-11-07T17:10:00.001-05:00

160,000 kids miss school every day for fear of bullying

1 teen dies every 1/2 hour in the USA from bullying/bullycide

That's why AbuseBites.com CEO Lisa Freeman offers educational workshops to raise awareness, and teach safety, prevention, and healing methods to stop bullying, abuse and violence. Her entire family was bullied in some form, one son nearly bullied to death.

By offering their real life stories of survival along with statistics, and some fun, interactive games, kids, teens, and even adults learn at their level how to defeat the bully without violence, work together as a community, and have a great time doing it!

We don't just put a band-aid on bullying we give kids, parents, educators and everyone everything they need to bring about safer schools, safer kids, and safer families!

Contact Lisa Freeman today @ 989-729-2124 or email @ abusebites@gmail.com

Anti-Bullying Workshops that Save Lives

2011-10-30T13:29:00.000-04:00

Lately we've been swamped with emails, phone calls, and letters from parents, schools, and churches to do anti-bullying workshops.

The need to stop bullying and get help is huge.

Last week we did three workshops. We did a back to back entire youth presentation for 7th-12th and then K-6th for the younger students. Wow! Great time! But it hit a nerve in my heart when I heard that even a 2nd grader who had been terribly bullied said, "I want to kill myself."

I had been contemplating if the younger kids should really hear our "bullycide" story about my son, Jeremiah. But I felt led to share it, and now I'm so glad I did.

We never know who might be feeling ready to end their life because they just can't take it anymore. Our workshops can literally save lives.

Another thing that I heard was that people were thankful that we addressed how we "help and love the bully" knowing it's not a person, bullying is an action, and anyone can change, but first we must BE THE CHANGE they can see.

Little kids even came up and said it was a great time. So thankful that we can have fun, play games, and interact with the kids and teens--that's so important.

We don't just tell them a bunch of stuff, we have lived abuse and we have healed from it.

We don't simply put a band-aid on bully, we help others heal in a fun, safe way.

So if you're in need of an antibullying presentation for your school, church, or community--give us a call!

Together we can change hearts and save lives!

989-729-2124

Almost Bullied to Death

2011-10-30T08:22:00.000-04:00

Lisa Freeman tells story about her teenage son that was almost bullied to death in high school. After getting him the appropriate help now he's healed and writes and sings songs to help others. MTV is even considering a film about Jeremiah entitled "Bullied" and using one of his songs.

Say No To Peer Pressure

2011-10-30T08:16:00.000-04:00

DOGS BEHAVING BADLY

2011-09-23T07:18:00.000-04:00

Last week we did the Perryfest Parade in Perry, Michigan. Since we were already shorthanded I was going to leave our little stinker (the bully) "Baby Ruth" at home and just bring "Snickers" our Certified Pet Therapy Dog.

BUT Daddy (my hubby) said, "I said she could go." So I turned to Baby Ruth (a min pin, rat terrier, chihuahua mix) who was waiting patiently by the door and said, "Daddy said you can go?!" And she started dancing in a circle all excitedly. Everyone laughed it was so cute.

So I got both the dogs leashes and realized I didn't pack any waters or even a water dish for the dogs! OOOPS! After grabbing the waters last minute, we were out the door right at 10:30 a.m. like we had planned.

As we drove down our street I had a bright idea to let the dogs out for a run unleashed by the soccer ball fields before the half hour drive to get their energy out. Another OOPS!

We were laughing at first to see Baby Ruth running crazily around the whole open field along the creek, but then she stopped and started eating something. I commanded her to "Leave It!" and every other dog command I could think of, which only encouraged her to eat faster. More OOPS!

I commanded her to come. Instead of coming to me, she stopped eating, dropped, and rolled in whatever it was, smearing her face entirely in it, and then since Snickers had ran back to the van, she did too. That's when we realized she was covered in poop and had a BIG CLUMP stuck to the side of her face! URG!

So back home we sped. My son Miah took her around back to put her on the chain, while I fled in the house to wash the leashes (she had even gotten poo on Snickers too!) The door was locked and none of the 5 million keys on the ring would work! URG!

Finally got the door opened, the leashes washed, but I had no time to bathe her or we'd really be late. So I had no choice but to leave her on the chain until we got home.

Thankfully, despite the mishaps and the bitter chilly morning, the parade turned out fabulous. They even told my husband, John, to drive slow through town because they were going to give us an extra long shout out about what we do in our Abuse Bites program and pay tribute to our son Brian, who passed away last year. I've been in a lot of parades, but their announcement was so wonderful, it made me cry.

Later I returned home and bathed the little stinker, which by this time, the poo was all hardened and stuck in her fur. Two shampoos later and she came out smelling like a dog I could love and hold again.

But I'm learning that some dogs (like Baby) if given an inch, will take a mile, so they need more discipline and structure and probably shouldn't be unleashed for their own protection. Because when she does eat something nasty, she always ends up sick.

We're actually a lot like dogs. We can keep going back to the same old garbage relationships and friendships that pull us down and can physically make us sick too! So let's take care of our dogs and ourselves and CHANGE the bad behaviors in our lives and theirs, by simply keeping them/ourselves away from the garbage in life!

Just a note: I've had to work much harder with my dog, Baby Ruth, but I love her so much. Instead of hurting her when she's bad, I tell her NO, and focus on the times she's good and praise her for that! Praise is the most powerful and effective tool for dogs behaving badly. Find them doing something good and PRAISE them, love them, and understand their personality.

Dogs, like people, are all different too, and what they want most is our love and affection. Abuse Bites but True Love Heals!

*

Having Fun While Training Your Dog

2011-09-17T07:02:00.000-04:00

Due to cold weather and rain a week ago Thursday I ended up teaching two Pet Therapy classes this week. Thankfully the weather cooperated both Monday and Thursday of this week and although everyone couldn't make it to the first class, they were all here on Thursday.

We had such a great mix of people and dogs, from young to old, teeny, tiny and fearful to Gigantic and fearless! What a variety of pooches: a Golden Doodle, Black Lab/Shepherd, Yellow Lab/Shepherd, Chihuahua, Scottish Terrier, Golden Retriever, and a Haveneze (spelling?)!

Man were the dogs hyper!

With Snickers, Baby, and Jax (our most recently trained Certified Pet Therapy Dog and his owner Stacey Wendling), we had a total of 10 dogs here! Thankfully we had lots of volunteers!

At first I was thinking I should have broken them up into two groups, but they (dogs & handlers) did awesome! The dogs settled down and took their turns for each section of the training--almost like they were at the testing. Wow! I was so pleased with all their progress!

Molly and Marna added a few laughs as usual. When we did the sit, stay, then come when called, Molly always went to someone else or another dog instead of Marna. Gotta love em! That just cracks me up :) But then we realized it's because Molly takes her eyes off Marna and loses focus immediately. I pointed out that one of our other ladies, Samantha was clapping to keep her dog, Dolly's attention. That seemed to work great. So I learn something new from my students too and love it!

Some of the dogs wouldn't sit and stay long or at all. But in our group, that's okay, we don't force. We work at the dog/handlers pace and give them tips and encouragement of how to work on those problem areas.

I believe each dog/handler is special and unique. No two dogs are alike, just the same as no two people are alike. And that's awesome, because some people like big dogs, where others like small dogs. But any dog, when trained properly can be a more obedient dog.

Funny I should say that. A little boy who came to the group was holding Snickers leash a ways away from where I was teaching and he started barking loud and annoying at a kid passing by on a bike. I commanded, "Snickers, No Bark!" Everyone laughed because he hung his head like he'd gotten busted when he thought I was too busy to be paying attention. But he'll even be outside on the chain and bark to come in and I'll command, "NO BARK!" to let him know I hear him and he will stop. Then when he stops barking I say, "Good No Bark," to praise him.

That's the thing with dogs, they are just like kids, so if you really want them to mind, you have to keep right on them, praise them when they are good, but don't give them an inch when they're not!

Our Dogs that Heel & Heal Classes are offered privately as well as in group sessions. Please see our website for more details AbuseBites.com

Happy Training!

Stopping Bullying & Abuse In Saginaw Michigan

2011-09-16T17:46:00.002-04:00

Doors are opening to STOP BULLYING in Saginaw, Michigan.

For five years I've tried to do work in my own community here in Owosso. And I've done some awesome things. And I do hope to do some more awesome things in the future.

But lately I've been noticing how God is leading us to Saginaw. Earlier in the week I was invited to attend an awesome Conference in Saginaw today by a sweet lady, May Watson, who works with Drug Education, Prevention & Youth Services with the United Way. They go into the public schools to raise awareness, prevention, and education to help kids make better choices. She said they've been praying about an anti-bullying program!

I just met May Saturday at the Saginaw Worship in the Park celebration on Ojibuway Island. Talk about divine appointments! Her and her husband are like angels, fluttering around to connect organizations together so we can work together, change hearts, save lives, and Stop Abuse! Awesome!

Not only did I have a blast meeting, talking with, and having a booth in the park next to May, but today she introduced me to some wonderful people at the Conference.

Already the YMCA has contacted us and has asked us to come and share our message/program with their staff. How awesome!

If you'd like us to share the scoop on bullying, prevention, safety, education, awareness, or a healing workshop, please let us know! We'd be so happy to serve your school, church, work place, or community.

Our workshops are FREE, we just ask that our gas be compensated.

AbuseBites.com

7 Ways To Stop Abuse & Bullying!

2011-09-12T07:54:00.000-04:00

We get letters, phone calls, emails, face book messages from desperate children, teens, parents, and workers every day! People are being bullied and they want it to stop! Believe me, we want it to stop too!

My son, Brian, had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart disease and was bullied all through life. But more than anything he wanted to go all the USA to educate others, raise awareness, share his story & and offering healing to all, even though he'd been on the heart transplant list for 5 years.

Brian knew what it was like to hurt, but he also knew what it was like to heal. He loved everyone (even the bullies!) and had a passion to give that gift of love and forgiveness to others.

Sadly, last year as we were planning our trip around the USA, he passed away from a blood clot. He always said, "Mom, you can't go without me!"

On Brian's 23rd birthday we launched 23 balloons with the message "How Far Will You Go To Stop Abuse?" in his memory, to see how far they'd go. Some of them were reported being found 90 miles away! That was cool! But that wasn't enough...

This summer we raised our own funding and went on a Walk n Talk Across Michigan, over 1,000 miles (of driving--then we walked around each major city--15 total) talking to people, offering FREE HEALING WORKSHOPS in schools, churches, work places and communities. But that still wasn't enough...

We know we are called to complete the mission in Brian's memory, to go all over the USA and even the WORLD to STOP ABUSE and with your help we can do just that! IF we can get this healing message to the entire world, then that will be enough!

How Far Will You Go

To Stop Abuse?

The great news is, you can stay right where you are and still stop abuse.

There are 7 ways to Stop Abuse & Bullying right from where you are:

1# By not standing by when others are abused--do something, say something, go get help! REPORT ALL BULLYING!

2# By not allowing others to physically, verbally, emotionally or spiritually abuse you! Stand up for yourself!

3# By treating others the way you yourself would like to be treated! Do unto others

4# By telling all your friends, family, coworkers, church family, schools, community about our program Abuse Bites

5# By volunteering in our program, right from your desktop, computer, office, home, etc

6# By praying for us diligently as we take on this huge mission God has called us to (for funding, open doors in schools/communities, health, safety, and God's divine will and direction)

7# By donating or sponsoring us so we can have the funding (for gas and food) to travel abroad to share these healing workshops FREE to all :) See ChangeForBrian.com

Donate Online @ Abuse Bites.com

Sponsorship Opportunities Online @ Sponsor US

Via Mail: Abuse Bites, Change for Brian, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867 (Make Checks Payable to Abuse Bites)

*All donations/sponsorships are 100% tax deductible and will be used to Stop Abuse & Bullying!

Thank you and may God bless you richly for your generous prayers, help, and gifts!

Mission Accomplished or Is It?

2011-08-24T06:36:00.001-04:00

Sunday ended our last weekend for our Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Abuse & Bullying. On one end I was glad, on the other end sad. I was glad because we have a lot of speaking engagements coming up and our 2nd Annual Benefit for CHANGE on October 16, 2011. I was sad because we met a lot of people who needed help to get free from abuse and some who wanted to help us and others.

We don't always realize it, but the ABUSE realm is HUGE! I'm sure all of us can either say we've been bullied or abused or know someone who has been. Abuse is like a cancer in the world, spreading rapidly.

This is why I know my/our mission will continue.

It's been confirmed through other people as well. When I went to the barber to get the heart in the back of my head redone (shaved into the shape of the heart) I told him that I wouldn't be back because this was the end of our mission. He said, "You're mission is just beginning."

Then a lady I hadn't heard from in years and had no idea what I was doing, emailed me. She had a vision about me/us. She saw a map, a route all in yellow. God had orchestrated the map, and I was the one holding and looking at it. He had given us clear direction of where we (our family) needed to go and what we needed to do.

It encouraged me that God was confirming our mission in other people's lives as well. I'm excited about the road before us, and pray that we can have a huge impact on those hurting, abused, broken and desperate for healing.

Recently I had the opportunity to witness to a young lady addicted to drugs/alcohol and heading down a destructive path, due to the abuse she suffered as a child by her father. She is now CLEAN and serving the Lord. A few days ago I had a dream/vision and wasn't sure what it meant. Yesterday this girl texted me about something she was planning to do, but knew she shouldn't. Right then I knew the dream/vision was for her and I shared it with her. Thankfully, what Satan meant for harm, God turned around for good, as through that vision she was able to thwart the plans of the enemy and follow the Lord!

When my son, Brian, passed away a year ago, I vowed to go all over the world like he wanted to help others who are bullied and abused. We still don't have the funds we need to make a journey of that nature. But we did go all over Michigan this summer and God was faithful to provide everything we needed for this journey. So I know that nothing is impossible with God! If He calls you to it, He will bring you through it!

So my mission continues. And that's fine with me as long as I'm in God's will. I know his will is always the same to CHANGE HEARTS and SAVE LIVES. And that's what we intend to do, whether we're at home in Michigan or on the other side of the world.

There are many ways you can help/partner with us to make this dream/vision come to pass and forward us on this mission God has called us to: through prayer, fasting, volunteering, monthly support/or sponsorship, fundraising, donations or by simply purchasing our brand new CHANGE of HEART for BRIAN bracelets available on our website for only $1 each! http://www.ChangeForBrian.com. (The best part--every penny given stops abuse and is 100% tax deductible!)

Thanks so much for your help! Together we can Stop Abuse! Please share this link & info with all your friends and family! Wouldn't that be awesome if the sales from these tiny little bracelets funded our entire mission?! I would be ecstatic! God often uses the "little things" to bring about the biggest blessings! I know he has in my life.

You can also order these bracelets by mail. They come in a variety of bright colors: light pink, hot pink, lavender, blue, green, and tri-colors. Mail Check or Money Order to: Abuse Bites, Change Bracelets, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867 (Please include $2.50 for shipping and handling 1-20 bracelets, $5 for shipping for 21-50, $10 for 51-75, $15 for 76-100)

Trouble Walking n Talking?

2011-07-22T09:19:00.001-04:00

Lately it’s been difficult to walk. I woke up a week ago with a very sore left hip. It just so happened to be the first day of our 1^st Annual Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Abuse. We met at the Capitol in Lansing, where I hobbled around painfully to do what I had went there to do—RAISE AWARENESS to STOP ABUSE and BULLYING of People & Pets. Thankfully, even despite the droplets of rain, the event went well, victims were honored, news crews were on site, we were able to minister to a woman and her two small children, and it was an awesome time of taking back what I feel has been stolen from our country, our freedom as Christians to STAND & SPEAK OUT for the HEALING that only God can bring!

Standing and speaking is about all I’ve been able to do in the past week. I’ve hobbled and limped far more than I’ve walked, believe me. But as I’ve dealt with this thorn in my flesh and hinderence to this mission God has called me to, I realize that sometimes our walking is way out of balance. I used to work out for an hour every morning and then walk for 3-5 miles, usually 1-2 hours per day. The rest of my day I spent very BUSY on the computer, phone, training volunteers, teaching, and doing the zillion other things a person who heads up two non-profits has to do. Not an easy task. But as a leader, I too set the pace for everything that gets accomplished. If I’m moving too slow, not much gets done. If I’m moving too fast, then we might get some things done, but because we’re hurrying and stressed, we make more mistakes. So we need to be moving ahead at just the right pace.

I believe that is the lesson God wanted me to learn this past week “pacing myself”. Last weekend when we went to the parks in Jackson and Kalamazoo I could barely walk, in fact, I sat most of the time and just ministered to women and children as they came to me. But I was obedient to “go” and that is the important part; that we go when God tells us, he’s not concerned about how fast we’re moving, just that we are. This is proof that God will use us just as we are, as limited as that may be, as long as we’re walking with Him.

Quite honestly in the past, I’ve probably gotten ahead of Him sometimes. I’ve probably even ran ahead, in the wrong direction. Maybe that’s why he felt the need to slow me down.

I’ve only taken two short walks this week. The first walk was a couple days ago, just a half mile, and took nearly 30 minutes. The other was this morning, I walked an entire mile at a VERY SLOW PACE, (my dogs even kept looking at me funny, like who put something in your cereal?), and it took me an hour. But as I’ve slowed down, I’ve learned that before I was probably rushing through every walk, every work out, every bike ride, every phone conversation, every prayer, every scripture, every intimate moment, every divine appointment, etc, so I could get to the next thing. In essence what I was doing is becoming a Martha, Martha, Martha – just simply doing a work God had called me to “walking and talking” instead of being more like Mary, who is in total synch with Jesus and follows his every step.

Noah and Enoch walked with God. Noah walked so closely with God that he was obedient, even though he was persecuted and made fun of every day, and God rewarded him greatly. When everyone else in the world was destroyed, him and his family were spared! Hallelujah! And Enoch, he walked so closely with God that one day God just took him up to heaven—he never saw death—he was transformed right there. Wow!

So I’ve decided on this walk, I want to be like Noah and Enoch. Just like them, I want God to transform me (my heart and mind to have a unique FAITH like theirs) so that I’m walking and talking at just the right pace, so that HE can transform others as we Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Abuse & bring healing to all!

For more information about our 1^st Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Abuse of People & Pets, please log onto www.abusebites.com

Day One: Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Bullying n Abuse

2011-07-16T06:06:00.001-04:00

Our Kick off at the Capitol went well, despite everything coming against us. There was unpredicted rain throughout the morning, but thankfully it was light and not a total wash out. My hubby, John, even pointed out a beautiful rainbow that morning before we left. Thanks honey :)

I had two phone interviews before we even left the house. We ended up getting a late start and even getting turned around due to construction. And since it was after 9 a.m. when I finished my interview with TV 6 News, I thought everything was set up and we could get started. My son, Jeremiah, opened the event with a song called "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North. He did an amazing job, I was so proud!

Then we had an opening prayer, followed by a moment of silence for the victims, then we were supposed to play "Tears in Heaven" but little did I know, John was still setting everything up. Our Emcee, Ron Hoshal, did a good job though and saved John from a most embarrassing situation as he went on to the next thing on the schedule. He also shared about how he and I raised over $10,000 for abused/needy pets for the local Humane Society.

One of our speakers, Kevin Epling, Co-Chair of Bully Police USA, later pointed out that even though our song couldn't play, with the rain coming down, we had literal "tears from heaven". He spoke on how we all needed to work together to bring about the change our kids need in the schools to protect them, through educating, raising awareness, and giving them the tools and prevention methods they need. I couldn't agree more!

I spoke on Change as well. About how we need to love and accept others, forgive our bullies, help our bullies, pray for our bullies, and that will bring about the healing and change that is needed.

There were a few quirks, like no video coverage, because no one set the camcorder up, and being physically attacked with my hip and leg giving me so much pain I could barely walk, let alone hobble that morning, but the message was powerful!

Still, I was a little disappointed by the turn out, as only a handful of people and a couple of news guys were there. It hurt me to think that we made all those calls to politicians, sent out hundreds of press releases, and yet, only a few people came that morning to listen and show their support, and we only sold three t-shirts.

But as we were getting ready for this event, John was pressing out the event t-shirts and trying to find the center of the logo for the back, and it came to my attention that the word "GO" was right in the center.

It was a message saying "GO". It doesn't matter who shows up, how many t-shirts we sell, how we feel, or who supports us. We're to be faithful to go, and let God do the rest.

And because we were faithful to go that morning, despite all the negative comments and lack of support, and low t-shirt sales, after the event, we had the chance to minister and pray with a young woman who came to us in tears who has been terribly abused. While we were praying with her, her two little girls were loving on Snickers. How awesome is that!

If we even touch one person, this Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Abuse is well worth it.

Please show your support for this mission by lifting us up in prayer, considering a donation, and even getting an event t-shirt for you/your family, as all the money will go (for gas, food, lodging) to help us take this healing message to those who are abused and need it. We will be walking and talking through 15 major cities in Michigan over the next several weeks on the weekends offering one day healing events.

For more information on cities, dates, donation, sponsorship, etc, please log onto http://www.abusebites.com

Or write to: Abuse Bites, Walk n Talk, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867

Thank you for your continued support!

http://www.abusebites.com

BALLOON LAUNCH TO STOP BULLYING ABUSE VIOLENCE

2011-06-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

BALLOON LAUNCH TO STOP BULLYING

Lisa Freeman, of Owosso, and CEO of Abuse Bites will be launching 23 Balloons with a dual message. One message that she wishes to get out to the public is that we can Stop Bullying. She has attached cards in envelopes to each balloon regarding the Walk n Talk she will be doing all across Michigan to bring healing to entire communities for victims, bystanders, bullies. The second message is to honor her son Brian (as well as all victims of bullying/bullycide). Why 23 balloons? Because Brian would have celebrated his 23rd birthday on Monday. He was bullied all of his life due to having Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart condition. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies.

"Each balloon has a message and a card attached," Lisa Freeman says. "Brian wanted to go all over to Stop Bullying, Abuse and Violence, so we're sending these balloons and cards out in his honor, hoping that anyone who finds them will let us know how far they went."

Handwritten questions are attached to each one: How far will you go to Stop Abuse? Change of Heart for Brian, to change hearts and save lives.

The launch will take place at Hillcrest Cemetery in Owosso, Michigan at Brian's grave (which is located on the very last road on the SOUTH SIDE of the cemetery) on Sunday, June 26th at 4 p.m. Everyone is invited!

For more information please click here.

A Dream Come True by Lisa Freeman of AbuseBites.com

2011-06-15T05:52:00.000-04:00

A Dream Come True!

Wow! It’s finally happening--finally coming true! The moment we’d all dreamed of—going out on the road to Stop Abuse/Bullying & bring healing. But something’s missing. Something enormously important. It saddens me to even think about it.

Brian. This was his dream. His goal. All he ever talked about. Even though he was critical and on the heart transplant list for five years, he always said, “Mom, you can’t go without me.”

This is the same kid that was born with Asperger’s Syndrome, who was way different from all the other kids. Not a bad different, a unique different. He stood out in the crowd. Peculiar maybe, strange, yeah, but beyond all that outward stuff, was amazing stuff going on inside the big brain and oversized heart of his. What he didn’t have in health, he far surpassed in knowledge and love.

Because every day even though he was bullied his entire life, he chose to forgive his bullies, love them, and move on to help others.

In the weeks before he died he walked in one of the longest and hottest parades and handed out candy to kids to raise awareness on abuse and bullying. This is one of my most cherished memories, because typically Brian got so winded he had to sit in the van, but as usual, he gave it his all and pressed on.

When he passed away, my heart broke. I didn’t know how I’d ever go on. But then we found a change jar that he’d been saving. As I held that jar in my hand, I knew we were to collect CHANGE so we could be the CHANGE for Brian and others like him.

It is evident that Brian will go with us, not in the way we planned, but in the way God planned! Please support our Walk n Talk Across Michigan so we can literally CHANGE HEARTS and SAVE LIVES in our son’s memory!

To donate or sponsor Abuse Bites and this mission, or to obtain more information log onto www.abusebites.com and click on the “Walk n Talk to Stop Abuse” link at the right.

Help for Bullying in Michigan Walk n Talk to Stop Abuse of People & Pets

2011-06-09T09:59:00.001-04:00

Have you been bullied or abused?

Maybe you're the bully or abuser?

Maybe you're just the innocent bystander, caught in the middle?

GOOD NEWS--There's help for everyone!!! Whether you're the victim, bystander, bully, or even a family member of someone who's struggling with these issues, you can conquer these bullying behaviors and be set free!

AbuseBites.com and our team of professionals want to help you. We were once victims too. But now we're survivors! We've been through all forms of abuse, (even our dogs) and we've come out on the other side.

So we're sharing our workshops, stories of survival, and offering healing completely FREE to all, in a family friendly environment, as we travel to various cities all over Michigan.

Aside from abuse awareness, education, safety and prevention methods, we offer an assortment of fun for the whole family with a few interactive games and an amazing trick presentation by our therapy dogs that's sure to captivate any crowd!

For more information on cities, dates, times, volunteering, or hosting an event, please log onto AbuseBites.com and click on our "Walk n Talk" link at the far right of the page.

Walk n Talk Across Michigan to STOP ABUSE

2011-05-20T07:31:00.000-04:00

WALK n TALK ACROSS MICHIGAN TO STOP ABUSE, BULLYING & VIOLENCE

Lisa Freeman, the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA, is planning one day healing events, in cities throughout Michigan. The Owosso resident and lifelong abuse survivor understands all sides of the bully spectrum.

“I was both a bully and victim of abuse, my children were bullied, and even my animals,” she said. “But we found something many victims, bullies, and their families often struggle with—healing. And that’s what we want to offer.”

Freeman founded the non-profit organization “Abuse Bites” in 2006 to stop bullying through awareness and education. After her son, Brian’s untimely death, in August 2010, Freeman took some time off just to pray about what she should do next.

“That’s when I had a vision about this walk n talk across Michigan to set families free from abuse and bullying.”

The Abuse Bites 1^st Walk n Talk Across Michigan to Stop Abuse will begin on July 15^th at the state’s Capitol. After a moment of silence for victims of bullying/bullycide, the group will walk through the city, and then offer a healing workshop at a local church, school, or park, which is open to the public.

“We are hoping to do these events during July and August on the weekends,” she says. “But we’re in desperate need of host organizations.”

A host organization would partner with Abuse Bites to help them with a building or place to hold the healing event. Cities include: Lansing, Jackson, Kalamazoo, Ann Arbor, Detroit, Flint, Saginaw, Bay City, Midland, Grand Rapids, Muskegon, Ludington, Mt. Pleasant, Cadillac, and Traverse City.

“We are a small group,” Freeman says, “But we want to a do a big thing in Michigan. And I believe with the right man power and funding, we can do just that.”

Freeman and her group will offer FREE Healing Workshops as they travel; only taking up a free will offering. Thus, they will need money for gas, food and lodging. “We have an awesome sponsorship package,” she says. “But any size donation will be greatly appreciated.” The group will be at Walmart of Owosso on May 29^th and June 17^th, 18^th, and 19^th accepting donations.

For more information on dates of events, being a host church/organization/group, becoming a volunteer, or sponsor, log onto www.abusebites.com, email @ abusebites@gmail.com, snail mail: PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867, or call 989-729-2124. Please make checks payable to Abuse Bites. All donations are tax deductible and stop abuse of people/pets.

When Life Is Plain Hard

2011-03-16T10:21:00.001-04:00

My life for years to many seemed like a Cinderella fairy tale. Over the years I've had many women tell me how envious they were of my life, some have even joined our organization for a short time to get an inside glimpse of all this supposed glamour life I live. I'm an award-winning published author, speaker, certified pet therapist/dog trainer, and even a pastor. WOW!

What they don't know, unless they walk a day in my shoes, is that God has ALWAYS called me to do HARD!

As a young girl I didn't feel loved or important in my middle class family, so I ran to all the wrong things (drugs, men, topless dancing, etc). I even married an abusive alcoholic. (My choice, not God's. Again, because I was looking for love in all the wrong places.)

At 17, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, about the time my 1st husband nearly killed me. Yes, I escaped with my life and the clothes on my back. And when I met husband #2 I felt this urgency in my heart not to marry him, but he treated me good, opened the doors for me, told me I was beautiful, and he wasn't beating me around, so I shrugged off that tugging at my heart, and went ahead and married him. After 7 years I not only found out he had cheated on me, and was addicted to pornography, but he had turned his addiction onto our three children. (Again, it was my choice to marry the guy, and I believe with all my heart God tried to stop me from entering this marriage.)

At 26, this single mom of three, 7th grade drop out, decided she was going back to school, went onto college, and maintained a 4.0 and made the Dean's list. Then she went on to become an award-winning author, certified pet therapist/dog trainer, and even a pastor.

But what not many people really know is all the rejection and betrayal I faced, from everyone I loved and trusted, in the world, and even in the church for years and years.

When my 2nd husband kidnapped my kids, no one helped me get them back even though he'd molested them. Most of my family had even sided with him and my church became silent. Still I fought, and fought hard, and did the unthinkable to get them back in my custody. I had to go back with him for a short time and then take them to a shelter one day. It was hard, but I got them.

When I felt led to write, and began writing, I wasn't published for five long years. Rejection letters filled my mail box. Sometimes I wondered if I was really supposed to write, but I kept on, and finally I got accepted in one of the best magazines--Guideposts, which states is not for beginners. My writing career skyrocketed after that!
When my book came out (years later), everyone in the church thought it was too DIRTY for their kids to read, because I was a runaway who got into lots of trouble. I was kidnapped, beaten, raped, and forced into dancing and prostitution. So I was too dirty for the church, but since I was a Christian the world didn't want me either.

I was hurt and I didn't know it then, and maybe I never knew it until recently, but God has called me to do HARD. God has called my kids to do HARD, and our family to do HARD.

All four of my children had terrible obstacles they had to overcome, aside from being molested, they all have special needs, they were all abused, bullied, and faced great challenges. My daughter was labeled gay and nearly choked to death in school, my eldest son was a cutter (due to the abuse from his bio father) and had two nervous breakdowns, my youngest boy, Jeremiah, was bullied so badly he nearly committed suicide--he also nearly died from having grand mall seizures that developed in his late teens, and my son, Brian, was bullied all his life because he had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart condition. He was in and out of the hospital dealing with critical life threatening illnesses his whole life, yet he gave and helped others, forgave the bullies, and lived life to the fullest. Brian passed away last August, after being on the heart transplant list for five years. Yet the day after we buried him we marched in a parade in his honor to stop abuse, bullying and violence, and we've spoken at various workshops, and are now into our 5th Annual Easter Giveaway to help needy and abused families.

The road for our family has not been easy, or even glamorous as some might think. NO, the truth is God has called us to do HARD! Most of the time I don't get any money to speak and I give my books away to those who need them. And the only money that comes into our organization is the money we raise or put there ourselves. So even when everyone has turned on us, when tragedy has hit us from all sides, and we've had to stand for days, months, and years, and felt totally alone, like total outcasts, I know that even though we didn't have physical people to be right with us and walk us through these dark valleys, God has always been there. He had our backs, even in the HARD.

I know we're not the only ones who have been called to do HARD. But I just want to encourage anyone out there who is, people may let you down a million/trillion times, but God will never fail you or forsake you. I know I can't do HARD without him-- or even Easy for that matter.

God is the glue that has held this mom, this marriage, this family, and this ministry together. Even though we're broken over and over again, we cling to the hope that one day, we will be with Him, and He will wipe every tear from our eyes. He never promised that it would be easy, but he did promise that even through the HARD, he'd be with us!

My heart cries out for the many families now who are poor and abused, who are doing HARD and need our help. We help these families throughout the year, but especially at Easter. Please check out our website and prayerfully consider a gift you can give. No gift is too small. Every penny helps fight poverty and abuse. I thank you in advance for giving the best gift you can! God bless each of you even in the HARD! www.abusebites.com (click on Easter link on right).

To Donate via mail, make checks/mo Payable to: Abuse Bites, Easter Giveaway, PO BOX 1582, Owosso, MI 48867. All donations are 100% tax deductible and go to help needy and abused families (including pets!)

Sincerely,

Lisa Freeman, CEO Abuse Bites

Abuse Is Not A Dream--It's a Nightmare

2011-03-16T08:28:00.000-04:00

My dream is for every child, teen, woman, man, and animal that’s being abused to be rescued from their nightmare of terror and hell!

Here’s my story.

Growing up abusers lived all around me. Yet my parents had no idea. There were signs. Red flags everywhere.

Most 2 year olds don’t pull all their hair out, bang their head on a hardwood floor until they pass out, and wake up with night terrors every night. But like most parents, my mom and dad were busy. They both worked full time, and I’m sure they just thought it was a phase that I’d grow out of. And I guess in a way I did. My hair eventually grew back, and I guess I didn’t have any permanent brain damage from the head banging, but the night terrors held on like a curse.

Dirty hands were touching me, (boys, men, even girls and women) forcing me to do the unthinkable. I didn’t want to do those things. Really I didn’t. But if I didn’t do what they said, I knew they would hurt me more. So I tried to take my mind to a safe place and pretend it wasn’t happening.

I couldn’t decipher reality from my dreams anymore. At night, when I did finally fall asleep, I’d wake up in a cold sweat, unable to breathe. Panic stricken, feeling like I was being suffocated, I’d wake my mom. (At twelve years old I still slept with my mom or I couldn’t sleep, and even then I woke up at least once a night.)

“It was just a bad dream,” she’d say, “go back to sleep.”

My mom wasn’t a good listener. She worked hard eight hours a day in a nursing home scrubbing and waxing floors, the old fashioned way. Exhausted and looking for a quick fix, she thought drugs were the answer.

“Here, take these,” she said, giving me a couple pills. “The doctor said this will help you sleep.”

After taking the pills I was out cold. When I woke up it was dark and everyone was up. I was confused. Was it morning already? I found out it was the next night and everyone was getting ready for bed again. Now I was wide awake.

I had already missed a ton of school because I had mononucleosis every other week it seemed. Not that I minded. Being at home was better than being bullied and made fun of at school. So one night, instead of giving me the pills, when I woke up afraid, my mom actually sat up with me and read something in the Bible. I honestly don’t remember what it was, but I do remember I was able to sleep after that, better than I had with the pills and I woke up in time for school.

Finally I decided maybe if I acted tougher, kids would leave me alone. So although terrified, and begging that I would not see blood, I got into a fight with this boy who thought he was all that and I actually won. That day I became the class hero, everyone thought I was cool, and pretty much left me alone. Still the abuse in the hood continued. There was always a bigger bully moving in, and I was still terrified to fight back or tell.

My mom probably wouldn’t listen anyways. She always tended to blame things on me or call me a slut. All I wanted was her love, so I stayed still. Even when I went up the street to babysit and the woman’s husband came home early and made me do detestable things I said nothing.

He’d be buzzed out of his mind and put his hands and lips all over me. I can still taste the sour beer and cigarettes. YUCK! I begged him to stop, told him “NO!” and pushed him away, but he wouldn’t let me go until he finished. By that time it would be pitch black outside and no one would be awake when I got home. I locked the door and took a steaming hot shower, drowning in my own tears, fearing all the while he was going to break in and do it all over again.

I knew it was my fault though, because I kept going back up there, every time his wife called. Strange, but when she called, all I thought about was making money and doing her a favor so she could get away for awhile, not the abuse I’d suffer, or the fact that her husband could come home early. I wanted out, but there didn’t seem to be a way out, so I learned to just take myself to that safe place and keep quiet.

That’s why when I met my boyfriend at 13, and he said he loved me and would protect me, I thought my dreams had finally come true. It’s what I’d wanted all my life anyway—love—true love. Since he was four years older, and we went to different schools, we started cutting class to be together. Soon the courts got involved, put me on house arrest for truancy, and forbid us to see each other.

We sent love letters secretly through the mail. I’d watch through the living room window every night as he dropped a letter off and took the one I wrote for him. One day we agreed to meet on the back road.
“Let’s just run away,” he said staring into my eyes. “We can hitchhike and leave town right now.”

I was scared and excited at the same time. It sounded like the perfect plan. Now no one could stop us from being together.

Our dream of being together, turned out to be another one of my nightmares. Not only was I more abused out there (kidnapped, beaten, raped, forced into dancing and prostitution) and wanted to come home numerous times, but he turned on me too and began drinking and beating me. He said he was sorry, with real tears in his eyes, swore he’d never do it again, and sadly I believed him. I thought his jealousy meant that he loved me. WRONG!

That’s why I wrote my book “Run For Your Life” based on my true story of dating violence, not so I can get rich and famous, but so I can reach out to others who may be in dangerous relationships, to show them that they don’t have to put up with it, and that they need to get out before it’s too late. I almost didn’t make it out alive. In fact he nearly killed me.

Abuse is a nightmare! My dream is to save other people lives. Please help me by passing this story on, ordering the book for you or a friend, or donate into this organization so we can give books to those who need them! www.runtolife.org

Don't Buy The Lie

2011-01-11T04:24:00.002-05:00

Seems like since I was a little girl, I was being fed one lie after another.

It started with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but then more harmful dangerous lies came into play.

My brothers older friends, neighborhood boys/men, and even some of my friends from school did unspeakable acts I was sworn not to tell. “It will be our little secret,” they’d say. I wanted to tell my mom, but I was too ashamed and I was scared. I thought she’d probably blame me anyway. And many of my abusers had threatened me. What if their threats were true?

So I bought the lie. The lie that I had to stay in abusive relationships. The lie that no one would ever want me. The lie that no one would love me. The lie that I would have to settle for whoever came along.

All my life I bought the lie of abuse.

My alcoholic husband dropped to his knees and wept over my battered body, “I’m sorry. I promise if you stay I’ll never hurt you again.”

Sadly, I bought the lie again and again until he almost killed me. And even after I left him, I still kept buying the lies of abuse.

My 2^nd husband, who went to church faithfully, swore a million times that he’d never look at pornography or cheat on me on me again.

I bought the lie time and time again and stayed with him for seven painful years until I learned he sexually abused our three children. That's when I began seeking the truth, and the truth set me free!

Don’t buy the lie! Don’t settle for abuse!

I know it's hard to break free. I didn’t even start getting my life together until the age of 26. I hadn’t even finished high school, let alone junior high. I had dropped out in the 7th grade. Yet, a single mother of three, I went back to school, got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, and made the Dean’s List. Later, after battling severe panic attacks and agoraphobia, I graduated from Vision International with a degree in Christian Ministry, became an Award-Winning Christian Author, Certified Pet Therapist/Dog Trainer, and started two non-profit organizations A Time To Heal and Abuse Bites to break the cycle of abuse and help others heal.

Abuse is a choice. You can be a victim or you can be a survivor. I was a victim far too long. Today I’m a survivor, because I stopped buying the lie. I pray that you do too! You deserve better. It's the truth that sets us free!

If you or someone you know is stuck in the cycle of abuse and needs help please call 9-1-1 or the national domestic abuse hotline @ 1-800-799-SAFE. You may also contact me. I’d love to help in any way I can.

We offer workshops to educate, prevent, and bring awareness on all types of abuse and bullying in the school, work place and community. We’d be honored to work with you to bring our program to your area! http://www.abusebites.com.

Why Wait? Make Money Now & Stop Abuse

2010-12-17T08:37:00.000-05:00

Why do some businesses crash and burn while others sky rocket to the top and excel their sales quota every quarter? I believe it is actually based on various factors.

#1 Advertisement. Companies that excel Advertise. They use all their resources; websites, blogging, twitter, facebook, myspace, generating timely press releases, sending out flyers and business materials, etc.

#2 Stay Current. Companies that excel in the business world Stay Current. They keep up on current trends, changes, and what's happening in the world.

#3 Meet Needs. Companies that excel in today's economic crisis Meet Needs. They plug their products and marketing into the needs of the people as well as the needs in the business industry.

#4 Target Audience. Companies that excel in today's competitive world have a Target Audience.They target a certain people and business in broad spectrum and work on reaching them and meeting their needs.

#5 Create Something New. Companies that excel and advance Create Something New. They take an idea that has already been done and put a spin or a twist on it to create something new, exciting, and current. Everyone wants the new more updated version of everything. It's human nature.

#6 Show Don't Tell. Companies that excel have a unique way of Showing Instead of Telling. They use short well-written articles, graphs, pictures, charts, and important statistics to draw readership attention which then in turn generates business and traffic. Traffic equals sales.

#7 Spend A Little, Get A Lot. Companies that excel invest in training and learning programs. With the little they spend to either get trained on how to write excellent blogs/articles or by choosing to hire a freelance writer, they save time and make even more money. Articles that use key words will draw traffic to your site, and traffic equals money for you or your business.

Why listen to me? I'm just an abused, runaway, 7th grade drop out, right? Actually, yes, I quit school in the 7th grade, I did runaway, I was horribly abused, went through two abusive marriages, nearly died many times, and my children were sexually assaulted by their biological father.

Yet at 26, a single mother of three I got my GED, went onto college, maintained a 4.0, made the Dean's List, graduated with an Associates Degree, landed my first publication in Guideposts for Teens Magazine (which is no beginning market), won the Writer of the Year Award (twice), had more than 500 articles/stories published in 35+ magazines, have five books on the market, teach writing at schools, conferences and online, founded two non-profits, helped more than 200 needy/abused families and pets, developed the curriculum for Abuse Bites our Anti-Bullying program (pre-K thru High School), became an Award-Winning Certified Pet Therapist & Dog Trainer, and now am the Healing Projects Specialist for the Bully Police USA.

I'm not bragging. I'm simply saying if I can accomplish all of that after not even graduating from high school, surely anyone or business owner can too. They just need the WRITE tools and the ability to never give up no matter how hard or long the journey becomes.

Writing is the most important thing to having a business. If you are a good writer, you can draw attention to and virtually sell anything. So I'm offering a four week online interactive writing workshop entitled "How To Get Published" for only $50 to help any individual/business owner who wants to take the initiative and really get their business off the ground. Writing Workshop

And the really great bonus is this: All of the money we take in will actually go to stop abuse, bullying and violence all over the USA in memory of our dear son, Brian, who passed away a few months ago. His Story

Forgive The Bullies

2010-12-02T11:25:00.001-05:00

Forgive The Bullies

Is that even possible, to forgive our bullies?

Yes, it is.

My son, Brian had Asperger's Syndrome and a heart defect. I watched him get called names, be teased relentlessly, and come home after being beaten up on the bus just to say, "It's okay, Mom, they didn't mean it."

Even though they hadn't said they were sorry, Brian already forgave them.

His brothers teased him about his weight at home. It really upset him and he even cried sometimes. But when they apologized, what they did was already forgiven and forgotten and he was ready to hang out with them like nothing happened.

Forgiveness isn't for our bullies. It's for us. It's the key to our peace, our happiness, our health, and well being.

Doctors said Brian should have only lived to be 1 year old--he lived to be 22. Why? I believe it's because he learned how to forgive and be at peace and love others and himself.

He lived every day like it was his last, and taught us how to love, laugh, forgive, and press on no matter what obstacle got in our way. R.I.P. Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Today, thanks to Brian, we can take that message to others and help them get free too, so they can enjoy their lives.More

In our heroes honor, Brian, we are trying to get 5,000 Likes on Abuse Bites facebook page by January 1st. Please click on the link and support us and tell all your friends and family. Soon we'll have a new look to our website too @ http://abusebites.com please bookmark the page and come back and check us out.

Also I'd like to hear who your hero is or about your struggle with bullying/ forgiveness. Please send an email to: abusebites@gmail.com and put HERO, BULLY or FORGIVENESS in the subject line.

Scared To Death

2010-11-10T08:33:00.000-05:00

Scared To Death

· Did you know...

160,000 children FEAR going to school EVERY DAY
30 % of all parents FEAR for THEIR child's SAFETY every day?
Every 30 minutes all over the world a child attempts suicide?
Even adults suffer from bullying on the job?
A whopping 18.9 working days are lost each year due to workers being afraid to go to work?

It's true. We live in a world where kids, teens, and adults are literally scared to death. Most would rather die, than face another day at school, at work, or somewhere else being bullied. And who could blame them?

Our family/dogs have been called to go out of the comforts of our home, city, and state to educate others and help set them free. Normally I'm excited and jump at the chance to travel and go, especially when it involves helping others. I grew up on the streets years ago and really want to reach the hurting. But this week I had the opportunity to speak with a lady who moved here from Phoenix, Arizona. She explained that there were so many gangs there that nearly every day her husband left for work he was shot at, and that now, when her kids hear any popping sound, like fireworks, they jump and are afraid.

Hearing her story made me afraid. Gangs today are more violent than ever. Funny, earlier in the week before I met this woman I began doing research on gang activity. It didn't bother me to find that 40% of all gang members were teens and that there is gang activity in every city with a population of 250,000, because I live in a small town of Owosso, Michigan (population 15,713). No biggie. We don't have gangs here. I was gathering the research for our upcoming CHANGE Benefit and for future workshops. But after I spoke with this woman and reflected on the notes I had just taken, I woke up.

SOME ALARMING STATS:

There are approximately 24,500 gangs in the U.S. There were an estimated 750,000 gang members in 2000. The 2009 estimate is One Million gang members with 147,000 of them currently incarcerated.

Of the 1 million gang members, about 40% are juveniles (under 18) and 60% are adults, or about 400,000 teenage gang members and 600,000 adult gang members.

Between 90% to 94% of gang members are male. Between 6% to 10% are female.

Every city in the U.S. with at least 250,000 people has gang activity. 86% of those with at least 100,000 people report gang activity

*59% of all homicides in 2001 in Los Angeles and 53% in Chicago were gang related, there was a total of 698 gang related homicides in there two cities combined where as 130 other cities with population of at least 100,000 with gang problems reported having a total of 637 homicides between them

REASONS MOST JOIN GANGS:

Low income

Learning disabilities and emotional disorders: 60% - 78% of Incarcerated gang members have emotional and learning disabilities. This is the percent found by states that test all delinquents for special needs

School Failure and Truancy

No involvement in positive activities outside of school

Friends and peers who are delinquent

Early involvement in petty theft and behavioral disorders in grade school

Sexual abuse and victimization

Family dysfunction

Early drug use and sexual activity

Emotional disorders

Exposure to violence

Everything in life I've done afraid.

I've battled panic attacks since I was a young girl. Every time I get up to speak in front of a crowd I'm nervous, but after about a minute or so, I get over it, and I'm able to deliver a message of hope to a people that are at their wits ends. I won't let fear hold me back from saving other people's lives.

No matter how scary it looks out there, we will fight this war on ABUSE, BULLYING and VIOLENCE, but we are going to need your support, through prayer, donations, and word of mouth to help pave the way for us to speak as we travel around the country.

We need commitments from you: If you would like to read more about what we do, what we believe, and what we've done already log onto www.abusebites.com

*I Will Support Abuse Bites through Prayer—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Prayer" in the Subject box/ send us a little note, introducing yourself, and we will get back to you regularly with a list of current prayer needs.

*I Will Support Abuse Bites through a Monthly Financial Commitment—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Monthly Financial Commitment" in the subject line and let us know how much you'd like to pledge/give per month and how you'd like to pay and we'll get back to you on a variety of ways you can send in your monthly commitment.

*I will Support Abuse Bites by Raising Awareness In My Community & Setting Up an ABUSE BITES RALLY—Email us @ abusebites@gmail.com and write "Abuse Bites Rally" in the subject line and give us your information and what you'd like to see happen in your community and we'll set the date and work closely with you to plan it all out.

*I will Donate now and when I can in the future, because I believe in what your family is doing and that Abuse Bites and I want to help Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence. We'd also like to hear from you

1$ in CHANGE to Stop Abuse, Bullying, & Violence

2010-10-25T05:35:00.001-04:00

This benefit is being thrown for our family in honor/memory of our son, Brian who died in August.

I am asking everyone around the world, every city, state, country, and nation to donate/give $1 American Dollar to the cause so we can use your spare CHANGE to CHANGE the world & Stop Abuse, Bullying and Violence.

We will use this money to travel all over the USA/World to educate others on how to get safe from abuse, bullying and violence. Every penny is tax deductible.

Our son Brian was bullied all his life. He lived and died forgiving his bullies. After he died we found a CHANGE jar he'd been saving. We knew right away we were supposed to collect CHANGE to be the CHANGE for him and others who are bullied. RIP Brian 6/27/88 to 8/10/10.

Our son Jeremiah was nearly bullied to death. Our son Robert was a cutter and had 2 nervous breakdowns due to abuse. Our daughter Melissa was nearly choked to death in school and labeled "gay" because she chose not to date and save herself for the right man.

Please consider taking the $1 CHANGE CHALLENGE TODAY and tell all your email buddies, FB friends, and Twitter followers. We need your support to STOP ABUSE, BULLYING & VIOLENCE. Can you give just $1? If not, give what you can, pass this on, pray for us and our mission, and leave it in God's hands.

You can donate online @ http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html. Or send check or money order payable to: A Time To Heal

CHANGE to STOP ABUSE
PO BOX 1582
Owosso, MI 48867

Thank you for partnering with us!

The Abuse Bites Team
www.abusebites.com

Wear Purple to Stop Abuse & Bullying

2010-10-20T07:50:00.000-04:00

Today, I, along with millions of people all over the world, will wear purple in memory/honor of those that have recently lost their lives to bullying and bullycide.

More importantly I will wear the acceptance, love, and an open heart to all who are different from me and accept them just the way they are. Because truly we are all different, unique and wonderful individuals. And chances are, what I can't do, you can. So we literally need each other and one another's gifts and talents to make the world a beautiful place.

So even though these beautiful children/teens/ and even adults have died, their voices live on, screaming out for help and justice for those who are still being bullied, abused, and shunned today. What are you doing to help? Or do you simply walk on by so as not to get involved when you see someone hurting another?

Did you know that if you do nothing, you become part of the problem? It's time to step up and do something. Even if you just wear purple today, it's a start. Let's band together and do something.

It has been reported that 85% of all playground bullying no one does anything, 11% that help are peers, and only 4% are teachers. Come on people, wake up! This could be your child or someone you love next time. Let's do something!

Maybe you can't break up a fight, but you can find someone who can help them. Please don't stand idly by, or walk away any more. We need to stop abuse, bullying and violence wherever we see it.

If you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for anything.

My entire family/dogs have been bullied and abused in some form. So we are fighting back to end the war on bullying. We work feverishly to educate kids, teens, parents, educators, workers, and whole communities on bullying, abuse, and violence and how to stay safe. Please support our cause through prayer, donations, or have us come to your community with our "Abuse Bites" breakout sessions, so you can have the power to break free from abusive behaviors and lifestyles too!

www.abusebites.com

Fun, Interactive Anti-Bullying & Pet Therapy Workshops for the whole family!

Email us today @ abusebites@gmail.com

Education Key to Stop Bullycide & All Forms of Bullying

2010-10-11T09:06:00.000-04:00

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Yet in the last few weeks across the nation there have been at least twelve bullycide victims. Bullycide is the result of someone being bullied to the point of taking their own life.

The latest bullycide report was in Boston, Massachusetts, where a 10-year-old girl was found hanging by a scarf in a closet. "This is heart wrenching," says Lisa Freeman, who founded the anti-bullying program, Take A Bite Out Of Abuse. "Things like this don't have to happen."

Freeman believes with proper education, kids, teens, parents, and teachers will have the tools they need to take the proper action for prevention in the future. "Accidental suicides happen all the time," she says. "Kids today are playing dangerous games like the choking game."

This is just one of the many self-abuse topics Freeman discusses in her interactive workshops. "The choking game is where kids take an object such as a rope, scarf or tie and wrap it around their neck for a high feeling," she says. "Typically they are with someone else the first time they try it, so when they pass out, the friend is able to loosen the grip so they can breathe. However, when they try it alone, there's no one to release the grip and it ends up killing them."

It is Freeman's goal, as well as her whole family, to travel around the country to educate others on bullying and abuse. "I don't want another person to lose their life," she said. "I almost lost my son to bullycide two years ago."

Freeman's son, Jeremiah, was a sophomore then. He had been bullied all his life, was even threatened, and would have severe panic attacks when even thinking of going to school. "He wrapped a belt around his neck three times," she said. "Thankfully we knew the warning signs and got him the help he needed and now he's helping others."

A benefit has been set for the Freeman's in memory of their other son, Brian, who passed away in August. He had Asperger's Syndrome and a rare heart defect. He was bullied all this life. Yet, he lived and died forgiving his bullies. The EATS and BEATS for CHANGE to TAKE A BITE OUT OF ABUSE will take place on Sunday, November 7^th from 4-9 p.m @ Gi Gi's Banquet and Catering. The Mayor, Ben Frederick, will give an address. Limited seating is available. Advanced tickets are $10 per person/ $20 per family ($5 more at door). Mail check/MO to: The Freeman Family, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867. Get Tickets & info online @ www.abusebites.com .

Forgiving My Bullies

2010-10-07T04:40:00.002-04:00

It's been less than 2 months since I buried my son. (Brian's story)

The grief from that has been enough to weigh on my heart, let alone being bullied through it. I wasn't out to hurt no one. I attacked no one. I simply logged onto my facebook account and posted my feelings on my wall. I have to admit, it was one of the roughest days I'd had since Brian passed. I haven't had much sleep due to my other son having a life threatening seizure. (Jeremiah's story)

I felt deserted. Hurt. Lonely. So I posted something about feeling hurt, that no one would probably understand, or if they did they'd be too busy with their own lives to respond.

A certain person, from the church I recently attended for more than two years, responded. More like, she viciously attacked me. She replied with a comment to say that I shouldn't be feeling like that or wallowing in my own grief and sorrow. Instead I should be like her, going to church 4 times a week, so I can fit in and receive love. After all she'd lost both parents and a sibling and knew what grief was like.

Why do we always try to fit everyone into our little box and stereotype their life?

That would be like me stereotyping how the church should act with me and my family. While they gave freely and liberally to another family in need, they seemed to forget our needs altogether. Other than the typical service our church gives to everyone, bringing 3 meals in right after the funeral; No one called, came over, or hardly posted anything encouraging on our facebook wall. Yet, we realized that this other family needed them, so we stepped back.

I have learned through these two hard years, you can be left out in a whole room full of people, even at church.

Sadly, me and my family know how that feels first hand. At church softball games we sat there watching as certain people passed right by us to offer everyone else hugs. We watched cliques form inside the church and even tried to speak to leadership about it, but was told there wasn't any and I was being deceived, and then the very next Sunday it became a sermon, and suddenly Jesus even had cliques! Many times I'd offered to serve in different areas in this particular church, but was told I did enough already, so I prayed and took my talents and gifts to reach others outside the four walls of the church.

As the Lord led, I taught pet therapy, held anti-abuse/bullying workshops, visited and prayed for the sick, helped the poor and needy, and did various parades to raise awareness on abuse and bullying.

We did reach people. We even brought many of these individuals into that same church. Sadly some of them were bullied and left out too. Some have moved on and found churches were they are loved and accepted, some are still there praying it will change.

Every time someone walked out the door, I heard, "Let 'em go. I don't even care why they left."

But in the Bible, Jesus clearly states that he is the Good Shepherd and if even one strayed off he would leave the 99 others and go after that one.

We are supposed to be the church, the body. It should affect us when someone walks away hurt or wounded. We should love them and pursue them in or outside the church walls.

I'm not condemning the church; I'm speaking to the body. Why are we attacking our own? I've been shown more love and compassion from people in the world that don't claim to have a personal relationship with Jesus or any affiliation with God. Why is that?

God designed the church to be a place for healing, love, acceptance, freedom and life, not a place of judgment, condemnation, or to be left out. We were all created equal, born with a free will. God is the only one who can ever change us or judge us.

So why do we keep trying to fit everyone into our own little box, and when they don't fit, we toss them out like rotten potatoes?

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And I will do what my son Brian would do, forgive my bullies, in and out of the church, in life and in death. Because if I keep holding this hurt inside, I know I'm only hurting myself. If I don't forgive, I will not be forgiven.

Forgiveness is key to healing any heart, sorrow, pain or grief. I hope you too can forgive those that have hurt you. And if I've hurt you, please forgive me.

Speech About Healing From Abuse & Bullying

2010-10-01T09:11:00.000-04:00

Let me first say I am both humbled and honored to be here tonight. When Coach Dave Wilson asked me to speak, I was honored, yet at the same time didn't know if I could meet the challenge. Not just because one of my son, Brian, just passed away. But because of an abusive lifestyle I suffered, I have battled with severe panic attacks for years. Yet when God opens a door, even though I might feel fear initially, I know that with him I can do all things.

Yes, with God all things are possible.

Most of you probably don't know that my son Jeremiah also battled severe panic attacks. His panic is also related to being bullied and abused. By the 10^th grade he was bullied so badly in school that he became desperate and even suicidal. Even when we got him the help he needed and began schooling him at home, he had severe panic attacks any time he left the house.

He tried to fit in with other kids outside of school at the YMCA. Even tried to join the Y's basketball team, but he was bullied there too. Even though he was a pretty good player, they didn't allow him the chance to be on the team.

That's when we heard about THE FALCONS and spoke with Coach Hadley. He signed Jeremiah up right away for the next season. But in the meantime Jeremiah was invited to basketball practices and basketball camps, which took place in this very gym.

I'm not going to tell you Jeremiah wasn't nervous or never had panic attacks again. But what I am going to tell you is that this gym is where Jeremiah's healing began. On the court he gained back everything those bullies had stolen from him and so much more. We watched as he persevered to overcome every obstacle in his way, to become not only a STARTER basketball player that made excellent 3 point shots, but a wonderful young man of God.

So I want to thank Coach Hadley, Coach Dave, all the Falcons, and the Owosso Free Methodist Church for literally saving our son's life. God used all of you and this awesome place to bring about a healing that we could have never given him. Yes, with God all things are possible, especially when people like you make amazing sacrifices and pray the price. Thank you for being instruments in the Lords hands. Thank you all and God bless!

For more on our workshops, speaking, etc log onto http://www.abusebites.com

Don't Bury Your Child's Dreams

2010-09-15T10:05:00.000-04:00

Even though my son, Brian, had a rare heart condition and Asperger's Syndrome. I never dreamed the day would come when he would die. He was so healthy at the end, although on the heart transplant list for five years, I was certain he'd outlive me and his father.

Losing a child is sad. But losing a child who has suffered so much physically and mentally due to being bullied is another terrible tragedy. He lived and died forgiving his bullies. He was working in our program "Abuse Bites" right up to the end to educate others to stop bullying, abuse, and violence. His lifelong dream and goal had been to travel around the USA with us in an RV to take this important message to others.

It's only been a month since he passed away.

As I sat on the couch missing him and reading his obituary last night, I reread this touching poem on the inside: A Time will come when my life will cease, But when that time comes, I ask that you will remember these things:

*Bury my body, but don't bury my beliefs.

*Bury my heart but don't bury my love.

*Bury my eyes, but not my vision.

*Bury my feet, but not the path of my life.

*Bury my hands but don't bury my diligent efforts.

*Bury my shoulders but not the concern I carried.

*Bury my voice, but not my message.

*Bury my mind, but don't bury my dreams.

*Bury me, but don't bury my life.

*If you must bury something, let it be my faults and my weaknesses, But let my life continue in you!

In my son, Brian's honor, his beliefs, love, vision, path, efforts, concern he carried for others, his message and life, will continue on through us to go out on that mission he always wanted to. Please help us in our efforts (see CHANGE for BRIAN) to go on this mission. We will have to quit our jobs, we will need to raise enough money for an RV, and to feed us and our dogs and supply the gas to travel.

Another Form of Bullying

2010-09-08T09:15:00.002-04:00

Acceptance. Big word. Big problem in the school. Big problem in the church. And a big problem in the world.

We give off signals like a flashing yellow light. By the way we speak, or don't speak, share, or don't share, include or exclude we choose to reject or accept people every day. Sometimes aware, sometimes unaware. Either way, rejected, wounded, hurting people are all around us.

When was the last time you went out of your way to include someone who was different, new, or had a disability? When was the last time you hugged someone that seemed dirty, strange, or unlovable in your eyes? When was the last time you reached out to be a friend to someone who was all alone and didn't have any/many friends?

In our culture we're all afraid of the R word—REJECTION. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted. Yet, many times, we are unconsciously pushing them away for whatever reason. Maybe we're afraid of being rejected by them if we reach out?

Although I try to make it a point to reach out to those who are different, I get nervous and sweaty, because I've been one of those who have been rejected all my life.

You? You might ask. A gifted writer, speaker, and pet therapist! Yes, me! Why not me? Why not you?

Rejection happens to many people in all walks of life all over the world every day. And it needs to stop. But the only way it will, is when we decide to accept others, and stop putting up walls or stereotyping.

The truth is ANYONE can take on bullying behaviors. I am taking on bullying behaviors when I choose to ignore or not accept another person who is different from me or I think I won't like. We are all different. We are all unique. We are all special. We are all important. Together we are a body that makes the world complete.

I might only be an ugly toe to someone, but I still can give balance to another who may not have it. I may only be a big mouth, but may say a word another needs to hear to get healed. I may only be a finger, but may be able to point others in the right direction. I may only be a nose, but I may smell fire so I can warn others before they burn. I may only be an eye, but I may see something in your path that could harm you. I may only be an ear, but I may hear something wonderful to share with you. I may only be a voice, but I may tell you how much your loved and valued when others want to persecute and destroy you. I may be a heart, but may love and care for you like no other. I may only be a back, but I may be the only who stands behind you. I may only be a foot, but I may pave the way to make it easier for you. I may only be an arm, but I may be the only one reaching out to hold you.

The body, each intricate part, is so important to its function. And that's how we are as individuals. My kids, every one of them have disabilities, yet they have even greater abilities, and our family/body could not function well without them.

Our family is feeling that loss right now. One of my children, Brian, recently passed away. He had a rare heart condition and Asperger's Syndrome. By the world's standards he was disabled, a reject, an outcast, but he was one of the most important parts of this family and this body. He served, he gave, and he loved more than anyone I know. When people bullied him, he forgave them. When people ignored him, he loved them. When the world threw him lemons, he made lemonade. He was determined to use the ability God gave to help others, no matter what the cost.

That's why our family is doing a CHANGE of HEART for Brian in his honor. We are going all over the USA to educate others about accepting and loving one another, to stop abuse, bullying and violence. So, why not be the change for Brian and help us to make a difference to those who have been bullied and those taking on bullying behaviors to set them free. http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html

How To Stop Bullying

2010-08-26T07:22:00.004-04:00

It doesn't seem possible still that we lost our son two weeks ago. What a hero! He died forgiving his bullies. http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html

I've survived nearly every form of abuse in life, yet this is one thing I hoped I'd never have to survive. However, at the same time I am absolutely honored at the work to stop abuse, bullying and violence that will go on in his name. I'm already seeing it happen.

Many letters have poured in from parents, grandparents, teachers, lay people, and concerned citizens. Bullying and abuse must stop. There is only one way. We need to take action. We need to make a change and a difference for the next generation. Have a no tolerance policy and stick to it.

I heard from teachers who saw other teachers and administrators bullying kids and stood up for them. Thank God there are a few good people out there who care and are taking a stand for our children. But it needs to happen on the playground as well. Many times bullying is seen as a squabble or simply overlooked. These kids need intervention the first time. 85% of the time playground bullying goes unattended, 4% of the time teachers and aides step into help, but mostly help comes from peers, still only 11%. Come on, we need to step it up and intervene.

What you can do to stop bullying…

*Raise awareness in your community, church, school, workplace, etc about anti-bullying programs like ours that are available to educate and teach kids, parents, adults, and even educators how to properly handle bullying issues. http://www.abusebites.com This isn't just a SCHOOL problem. Bullies/Bullying is everywhere. We'd love to come to your school, church, work place, library, community, contact us today @ lisafreelife@gmail.com

*Connect with other anti-bullying forces out there, such as the Bully Task Force http://sisfi.org/main.html?src=%2F in New York, Bully Police USA http://www.bullypolice.org/speaker.html in Washington, etc.

*Donate your time, talents, and even money to help anti-bullying organizations so they can be productive in educating others. We have people all over the USA taking our information packets to their schools, churches, and other events in the community, as well as putting up canisters to collect donations. Change of Heart for Brian and others like him@ http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.

*Start a local anti-bullying group to discuss ways you can raise awareness and bring safety to your community

*Choose to do something about bullying, don't just sit there and hope the schools/laws will protect you and your family, you have to be proactive or nothing will ever get done. Don't give up, together, we can do this!

Brian—He Lived and Died Forgiving His Bullies

2010-08-18T05:09:00.000-04:00

In Memory of my son, Brian, 22, who died forgiving his bullies

Brian was many times misunderstood by his peers, adults, and even his teachers.

Born with Asperger's Syndrome, he had his own unique way of communicating. He had to touch, smell, and taste everything around him. I remember when he was really little going into Meijer's shopping and he closed his eyes and ran his hands through rows of clothes on either side and then came to grips with a woman's pregnant belly and began feeling that too. Thankfully the lady just laughed it off and saw Brian for who he was a very unique and explorative child.

Instead of reading children's books, Brian read the dictionary and Bible mostly. The morning of his passing he read the first chapter in Ruth. So intelligent, there wasn't much he didn't know. People thought he was weird or wasn't paying attention most of the time, even his teachers complained, but he always knew what was going on, and even more. He saw the world through God's eyes.

Although he was bullied by others since his feet first hit the ground, he loved who he was, learned to forgive them, and focused on helping others who were hurting.

Due to a congenital heart defect and only two chambers in his heart, Doctors said Brian wouldn't live to be a year old. Yet with prayer, love, and faith we watched him overcome every obstacle in his way. But Brian was the one with the most amazing faith. One that is rare to find. Because every time he faced surgery, couldn't breathe, or nearly died, he looked at me and said, "Mom just pray."

No matter how sick he was, how bad he hurt, or what he had to go through, he rarely complained. When I'd ask, "How you feeling Brian?" he'd reply with "I'm good!" and stick his thumb in the air with a bright smile.

It didn't take much to cheer him up. Mostly he was the one doing the cheering! Born with a great sense of humor, he always had the ability to make everyone, especially nurses and doctors laugh. A practical joker of sorts, he was always pulling a fast one on someone. He loved to poke fun at new techs, nurses, and doctors.

He loved many things in life. The Lord Jesus was top on that list. He'd given his life to the Lord at a very young age and seldom wavered. Next would be his family and dogs. He loved Snickers, Baby Ruth, and Wanakiya. They loved him just as much. The day before Brian passed, Baby Ruth would not leave his side. And any time he had to be away from home in the hospital, a visit from therapy dogs always made his day. When he was home and well, he enjoyed going on pet therapy visits to cheer others up.

Brian also loved to cook, and was one of the best. The morning he went home to be with the Lord, the house smelled so yummy it took me away from my computer. I knew he was up and asked what he was making. He said, "The usual." It was one of his delicious hamburgers. He cooked steaks, potatoes, and made some mean macaroni and cheese. And he brought me breakfast many times to my computer. But his all time church favorite is when he would cook hotdogs on the grill for all the players, family, and friends.

Brian loved to serve others, help others, and heal others. It didn't take any persuading for him to jump on board when there was a mission to accomplish. He helped the family teach pet therapy, he helped in parades and other events, and kept the dogs under control during Take A Bite Out Of Abuse presentations. He was passionate about stopping bullying, abuse, and violence and helping others so they wouldn't hurt like he had. That is why when the kids found a jar of his change that he'd been saving and brought it to me, God immediately gave me the idea of using the slogan be the CHANGE FOR BRIAN to raise money to stop abuse, bullying and violence in our country.

He was great with the little money he had and always tithed, bought pizza for everyone, and always managed to save some too.

He wanted a job more than anything. Each summer since the age of 13 he worked in the Baker College Summer Youth program. He worked in the kitchen at the hospital, cleaned the schools and grounds in Corunna, and even worked at Oak Hill Cemetery. Nothing he did was easy for him. He'd underwent several heart surgeries and near death experiences from 13 on. He was even placed on the heart transplant list after receiving a mechanical aortic valve and pacemaker at 16. Yet, he persevered, and graduated with honors from Owosso High School in 2007.

As soon as he graduated he put applications in everywhere. But with his underlying conditions and our tough economy, he never got a paying job. But he worked. He worked harder than most young men his age who are healthy. Any time the family was planning an event, he was right beside them every step of the way, packaging candy for a parade, toting boxes, packing the van, you name it, he did it.

If you never got to know Brian, you missed out. He was one of the few people that are real in the world. He never judged, never had a bad word to say about anyone, and always thought positively. Even the many times he faced death, he'd say, "Mom don't worry, I'm not afraid to die. I know where I'm going."

I know where Brian is today, in heaven in the arms of Jesus. I do mourn for our great loss, but not for him, because I know he's happy, healthier than he's ever been, and totally free, but mostly I mourn for those who have never accepted Jesus and are still bitter and unforgiving of their bullies.

It's time we make a CHANGE in our lives, a CHANGE in our communities, have a CHANGE of heart and be the CHANGE for Brian to stop abuse, bullying and violence http://www.takeabiteoutofabuse.com/change.html.

If You Really Knew Me

2010-08-06T08:37:00.003-04:00

Typically I'm not an MTV fan. However, when a girl who recently went through my pet therapy class facebook'd me and said, "You might want to watch this new TV show 'If You Really Knew Me' I think it would be something awesome to add to your anti-bullying program for high school students."

The program was amazing! I loved the show from beginning to end. What an eye opener! After watching this show, I hope we can take bits and pieces to incorporate them into our presentation. WOW!

During the first part of the show, you see the teens separated into various groups, preps, outcasts, popular, nerds, etc. But then students participate in a one-day program "Challenge Day" that breaks down the walls of separation. I watched how they interacted with the students to do various activities, and how the students began to break down emotionally. It was amazing! I loved when they split up into small groups and each shared something that no one would know about them. They purposely put the outcasts, nerds, and popular people together.

But the best part of all was when they asked all the students to stand together in back of the blue line. Then one by one they'd call out things like, "if you've ever been affected by someone close to you dying, someone or yourself taking drugs or alcohol, physically hit by a brother or sister, being yelled or screamed at, put down on a regular basis step over the line." Nearly all the kids stepped over. Then they said, "See, you're never alone. Someone else is going through the same stuff you are."

It was awesome to see the outcasts, nerds, and popular people all hugging each other. As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I thought about my own life. How I wished they had a program like this when I was growing up. Maybe I wouldn't have run away. Maybe I wouldn't have been so abused. Maybe I would have had friends.

If you really knew me, you'd know that all my life I felt like an outcast. In my family. At school. Even at church. People just didn't seem to accept me. I'm still very lonely and don't have many friends. Every church I've been in people have tight cliques and although they may say Hi and give me a hug sometimes, I still feel like that outcast on the outside looking in. My kids are all different and have special needs; they are often outcasts and not accepted either. I cry and ask God why sometimes.

If you really knew me you'd know that I didn't graduate from school. That I dropped out in 7^th grade to run away with an older boyfriend. I was beaten, raped, kidnapped, and forced into dancing and prostitution. And I was homeless for two years because when I thought about going home, my boyfriend would beg me to stay telling me that we would never see each other again if I went home. This same boyfriend nearly beat me to death on our wedding night when I was 16. (Check out Lisa's book based on her true story)

If you really knew me, you'd know that in my second marriage my husband was supposedly a Christian man addicted to pornography, which was blamed on me from pastors and counselors for years. You'd know that I kept trying to be a better wife and please him, even though he had numerous affairs and gave me VD. You'd know that he later molested our three children. And you'd know that when I did kick him out, that he kidnapped my children and I had to pretend to get back with him to get them in my custody, and then sneak off to a shelter with them one day while he was at work. (Check out my book based on our true story, "The Pictures That Destroy The Mind" )

If you really knew me, you'd know that me, my entire family, and even our dogs have been abused. My eldest son was a cutter and nearly committed suicide. My daughter was called gay, was emotionally impaired, and almost strangled to death by another student. My youngest son was nearly bullied to death in high school. And my son, Brian is autistic, only has two chambers in his heart, and needs a heart transplant. (Check out our entire family/even our dog's various healings)

If you really knew me, you'd also know that I overcome fear every day to speak and share my story of abuse survival. You'd know that sometimes I feel overwhelmed and depressed and like I have no one to turn to. (Check out a Vision Lisa had that keeps her going)

If you really knew me, you'd know that I struggle in my marriage even though I'm married to a wonderful Christian now, I fall in my Christian walk, and I'm having a hard time with all the emotions that go along with menopause. (Check out Lisa's healing testimony)

If you really knew me, you'd know that it breaks my heart every time a child is bullied; a teen even thinks of suicide or becomes a victim of dating violence. You'd know that I want to do more to help, in the schools, churches, and communities abroad. And you'd also know that I couldn't go out and do any of this if God hadn't brought me Snickers. (Lisa & Snickers story)

If you really knew me, you'd know that a lot of people attack me and get the wrong idea about me. That I only want to do God's will, not my own. That I don't care about fame or fortune, I just care about reaching others and helping them heal from abusive lifestyles. And helping them so they don't make the same bad choices I made.

If you really knew me, you'd know that sometimes I just want to give up. Doing a ministry, non-profit, training dogs, and caring for four adult children with special needs is a ton of work.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have learned to give it all to God. He is the reason I do and can do anything I do. I get excited and afraid every time I know I'm going to speak or write. The excitement comes from knowing I will hopefully be able to help others, the fear comes from all the abuse and rejection I suffered. People even in the church have rejected me, my book, and my testimony and made me feel like dirt, and like I'm not as good as them.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I have learned to surrender to Jesus. He was horribly rejected and abused too. I want to be like him, so I forgive all, realizing that people are just people, they will hurt us, but if we don’t forgive them, we hurt ourselves far more.

Like Paul says in Philippians 3:14, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Check out this enlightening Interview with one of the students for Challenge Day: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/07/19/mtvs-really-knew-breaks-boundaries-high-school-time/

Let's Call "Pornography" What It Is!

2010-07-29T07:28:00.000-04:00

Let's Call "Pornography" What It Is!

A lot of people say, "It's okay to look as long as you don't touch."

Wrong! Dead wrong!

My x-husband was addicted to pornography. Our minister and every marriage counselor we saw seemed to look at me as the one who needed to give more. I obviously wasn't meeting my husband's needs or he wouldn't turn to porn.

NOT!

He was addicted to pornography! He had the problem! He needed help! But since I was always getting fingers pointed at me, I stayed with him, thinking if I gave him more, loved him more, etc, he would change.

HE DIDN'T!

He had affairs! He gave me a venereal disease! But worse—He molested our three small children!

DON'T FOOL YOURSELF PORNOGRAPHY IS ABUSE!

*I share our true heart wrenching story in my book, "The Pictures That Destroy the Mind" how I had to fight for the safety of my kids, how I got them back after my ex kidnapped them, and how I reclaimed my relationship with God even though others in the church didn't help or support what I was going through.

Jesus clearly stated that "to look at a woman/man with lust in the eye is committing adultery." Matthew 5:28 Pornography is adultery. Pornography is sin. Everyone sins. Get free today!

GET HELP FOR YOUR FAMILY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

*Another book God led me to write "Coming Out Of Sexual Addiction" will help those who are struggling with porn to heal.

Statistics on Pornography's Effect on Families and Marriages

47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003).

The Internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003 - divorcewizards.com).

Pornography Addiction and Industry Statistics

As of 2003, there were 1.3 million pornographic websites; 260 million pages (N2H2, 2003).
The total porn industry revenue for 2006: $13.3 billion in the United States; $97 billion worldwide (Internet Filter Review).

U.S. adult DVD/video rentals in 2005: almost 1 billion (Adult Video News).
Hotel viewership for adult films: 55% (cbsnews.com).

Unique worldwide users visiting adult web sites monthly: 72 million (Internet Filter Review).

Number of hardcore pornography titles released in 2005 (U.S.): 13,588 (Internet Filter Review).

Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction: 10%; 28% of those are women (Internet Filter Review).

More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).

More than 20,000 images of child pornography posted online every week (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03).

Approximately 20% of all Internet pornography involves children (National Center for Mission & Exploited Children).

100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography (U.S. Customs Service estimate).
As of December 2005, child pornography was a $3 billion annual industry (Internet Filter Review).

"At a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces in the past year, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago." (Divorcewizards.com)

Christians, Pastors and Church Pornography Statistics

A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.

51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).

Over half of evangelical pastors admits viewing pornography last year.

Roger Charman of Focus on the Family's Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20 percent of the calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.

In a 2000 Christianity Today survey, 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit Web site. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.

29% of born again adults in the U.S. feel it is morally acceptable to view movies with explicit sexual behavior (The Barna Group).

57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005).

Statistics on Women with Pornography Addiction

28% those admitting to sexual addiction are women (internet-filter-review.com).

34% of female readers of Today's Christian Woman's online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll and 1 out of every 6 women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003).

Statistics on Child Pornography Use

9 out of 10 children aged between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed pornography on the Internet, in most cases unintentionally (London School of Economics January 2002).
Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography: 11 years old (Internet Filter Review).

Largest consumer of Internet pornography: 12 - 17 year-old age group (various sources, as of 2007).

Adult industry says traffic is 20-30% children (NRC Report 2002, 3.3).
Youth with significant exposure to sexuality in the media were shown to be significantly more likely to have had intercourse at ages 14 to 16 (Report in Pediatrics, April, 2006).

"Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent (and obscene) material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions."

- U.S. Department of Justice, Post Hearing Memorandum of Points and Authorities, at l, ACLU v. Reno, 929 F. Supp. 824 (1996).

Statistics on Online Perpetrators

1 in 7 children who use the internet have been sexually solicated - 2005. (Internet Filter Review)

1 in 4 kids participate in Real Time Chat. (FamilyPC Survey, 2000).

1 in 5 children (10 to 17 years old) receives unwanted sexual solicitations online (Youth Internet Safety Survey, U.S. Department of Justice, 2001).

2 in 5 abductions of children ages 15-17 are due to Internet contact (San Diego Police Dept.).

76% of victims in Net-initiated sexual exploitation cases were 13-15, 75% were girls.

"Most cases progressed to sexual encounters" - 93% of the face-to-face meetings involved illegal sex (Journal of Adolescent Health, November 2004).

Stats taken from: http://www.safefamilies.org/sfStats.php

Freedom From Abuse

2010-07-21T06:59:00.004-04:00

Freedom From Abuse

As a child I was neglected. Oh I had plenty of food, clothes, and toys. And I guess my parents loved me, but I didn't feel loved or valued. It was like no one listened to me or wanted to hear what I had to say. They didn't want to be bothered with me.

In my search for love and acceptance in my neighborhood, I found abuse. Boys and men used and abused me, and out of fear I let them.

Driven by fear, horrible insecurities set in. And on top of that I was numb. I had this huge aching hole in my heart.

I tried to fill it with everything throughout my teen years; boyfriends, drugs, alcohol, etc, but the hole just got bigger.

At school I was the odd girl out. I wasn't pretty enough and preppy enough to hang out with snotty rich girls. The geeks didn't want me either.

So I ran away. I ran from one thing to the next. Even one state to the next as I hitchhiked around the USA. I didn't find love and acceptance there either. Nope. I suffered even more abuse. And now I was starving, only had the clothes on my back, penniless, taken hostage, raped, and nearly killed.

For years I was trapped in a vicious cycle of abuse. For years I chose men who abused me. Then it began happening to my children.

That's when I drew the line. I tried to stop it before. I tried to get help. I tried to save my failing marriage that I was always told was my fault.

Yep, it was my fault he was addicted to pornography. It was my fault he cheated. And it was my fault he molested our three children.

NOT! It took awhile to get my head on straight, but, at 26 I finally stopped believing the lie. I finally found the TRUTH and the TRUTH is what set me free.

People can lie to us and tell us they'll change. We can lie to ourselves and try to believe the abuse will get better. Or we can face the truth, that we cannot change anyone, they have to want to get help. Sadly, most people who abuse want to get help, but they're afraid of being judged if they seek it. They're also believing the lie.

Anyone can get free. I know. I did.

As long as you have breath in your body it's not too late. It's your choice. Will you remain a prisoner inside your own home believing the lie, or will you let the TRUTH set you free?

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 5:1

GET FREE TODAY WITH THIS FREE BOOK OFFER "Run For Your Life" about my true life story @ http://www.runtolife.org

Now booking speaking engagements for 2010 & 2011.

Contact Lisa @ lisafreelife@gmail.com Via Web Sites @ http://www.abusebites.com http://www.runtolife.org http://www.atime2heal.org

STOP ABUSE

2010-07-11T07:39:00.007-04:00

S- Slow down and think about the choices you're making.

T- Turn from any and all abuse patterns or lifestyles you've been living.

O- Open up to someone and tell them what's going on.

P- Plan a way of escape or to break the cycle of abuse off your life.

A- Act on that plan by taking the necessary steps.

B- Band with others so you're not alone.

U- Use all resources in your community that are available to you.

S- Seek counseling.

E- Escape before it's too late.

Any Questions? I'd be happy to chat with you of how I got out of the abuse cycle. Email me directly @ lisafreelife@gmail.com or check out my websites http://www.abusebites.com & http://www.runtolife.org & htttp://www.atime2heal.org

1 Corinthians 5:11 NCV

I am writing to tell you that you must not associate with those who call themselves believers in Christ but who sin sexually, or are greedy, or worship idols, or abuse others with words, or get drunk, or cheat people. Do not even eat with people like that.

Breaking The Cycle Of Abuse

2010-07-09T05:11:00.009-04:00

I was 13. He said he loved me. He said he'd protect me.

He had the perfect plan. "Let's run away together."

It sounded like a great idea. But I didn't see what was really happening. He wanted to control me. Have me all to himself.

First he attacked my friends. "They're just trying to break us up," he'd say. Or "they're a bad influence on you, I don't want you hanging around them anymore."

Then it was my family. My mom loved him. Actually more than she did me. She believed him, even when I was the one telling the truth. Still that wasn't enough for him. He made it so it looked like no one ever loved me but him.

So I followed after him hard. I hitchhiked when I was afraid we'd get picked up by another crazy lunatic and I'd be kidnapped and raped again. I wanted to go home. But he said, "If you go back, the courts will separate us for good and we'll never see each other again."

He did other horrible things. At only 14 he walked me into a bar, but this one was different. The girl on stage was taking her top off. I slapped him and ran outside. He ran after me. "What are you getting so mad about? I'm doing this for us. We need money."

It was then, he talked me into topless dancing. He promised, "You don't have to do it very long. Just until we get some money."

Weeks went by. Guys drooled over me. They touched me. Stalked me. It was such a gross feeling to overcome. But eventually I did.

But then he started drinking and he hit me. "I'm sorry," he said with tears in his eyes, caressing my badly bruised cheek. "I promise I'll never do it again. I don't want to be like my dad."

I didn't want him to be like his alcoholic, abusive father, either. And seeing the tears in his eyes and him down on his knees begging me to stay with him, I just knew in my heart he'd change.

You can only run so long before getting caught and having to go home. At 15, after spending two weeks locked up in a girl's home in Colorado, I was on my way back to Michigan. It had been the hardest 14 days of my life. In the two years we hitchhiked all over the US, we'd only been apart twice, once was when we were kidnapped and tied up, another time was when we went to jail in Florida for 10 days for being in a stolen truck.

He was all I thought about. I wondered where he was and if we'd ever see each other again. He'd told me if I ever went home that would be the end of us. I hoped his was wrong. I loved him with all my heart and wanted to be with him.

After a few weeks he made his way back to Michigan too. My parents even helped him. Things were looking up. He finished school and joined the Air Force. I returned to school. He was 1,000 miles away in Texas in boot camp. I hated school and being away from him. So I ran away again to be with him. This time alone.

When I finally got there, after being picked up by all kinds of crazy freaks, he didn't act like he wanted me there. He was drinking, getting high, and cheating behind my back. I found out about "the other girl" months later when we started our new lives at KI Sawyer AFB. We were engaged to be married at the time. The plan was to hide out with him until my 16th birthday, and then my parents would sign for me to get married.

But within one week after moving into our new trailer, he tried to force me to go to a party. "No, I'm not going to some party with her and other people I don't know!" That was the first and last time I stood up to him. Within minutes I was a bloody mess, picking myself up off the floor. He threatened me if I told anyone what happened he'd kill me, forced me to get cleaned up, put make up on, and get ready. Knowing he meant what he said, I did what he wanted.

And of course later, several hours later, he said he was sorry. I believed him. Enough to marry him six months later. But on our wedding night, he drank nearly a fifth of whiskey, was hanging all over other women and girls, and beat me worse than I'd ever been beaten.

Again, he apologized and promised he wouldn't drink so much and blamed it on the alcohol. This went on and on. I was fooling myself thinking I could change him or that he'd change on his own.

He never changed. Instead the beatings got worse and worse, until he nearly killed me. Luckily I escaped with my life. And if you're reading this, chances are you're trapped in the cycle of abuse too. But you're still alive. You can get out before it's too late and get help.

I stayed way too long. But thankfully I did get away. Some are not so fortunate.

I wrote a book "Run For Your Life" to share my story and how I got free. If you know a runaway teen, an abused/battered woman, someone in a dating violent relationship, please, please, please, please GET this book for them today and encourage them to get help before it's too late.

*HURRY FREE BOOK OFFER BELOW*

You can get "Run For Your Life" online today @ my website: http://www.runtolife.org. or send $14.95 plus $4.00 shipping and handling to: Lisa Freeman, Run For Your Life, PO Box 1582, Owosso, MI 48867. In fact I will send all 3 books in the series for the price of 1. Just mention this offer when ordering. Offer for a limited time only, so HURRY. Although I usually try to get books shipped the same day orders come in, please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery.

Warning Signs Of Being Trapped In The Cycle Of Abuse

-Your bf/gf/spouse doesn't want you to hang out with your friends/family
-Your bf/gf/spouse tries to isolate you
-Your bf/gf/spouse is controlling
-Your bf/gf/spouse is verbally abusive to you in private or around your friends
-Your bf/gf/spouse is physically abusive (hits, kicks, slaps, pushes, etc)
-Your bf/gf/spouse is sexually abusive (forces you to do acts you don't want to do, touches you)
-Your bf/gf/spouse is emotionally abusive (controls you, who you hang out with, where you go, what you do, or gives you the silent treatment, or manipulates you)
-Your bf/gf/spouse is jealous
-Your bf/gf/spouse forces you into doing things you don't want to do
-Your bf/gf/spouse threatens if you leave they'll hurt you or themselves
-Your bf/gf/spouse says they're sorry and never will do it again

So continues the cycle of abuse. If you are in a relationship and your bf/gf/spouse is doing even one of those things, tell someone, get help, make a plan of escape before it's too late. Chances are it will only get worse.

This is another current story of a woman trapped in abuse most of her life and how she escaped barely with her life, having to leave her poor children behind.

http://www.stabroeknews.com/2010/stories/06/13/after-eight-years-scarred-domestic-abuse-survivor-starts-over/

Cyberbullying--Protecting Yourself & Kids

2010-07-02T06:24:00.007-04:00

Have you/your child been a victim of cyberbullying? Have they gotten mean or threatening e-mail messages or facebook postings? Well, if so, apparently you're not alone.

According to i-Safe America, after doing a survey on bullying, with kids of varying ages all over the country, statistics for cyberbullying (bullying online) were higher than any other type of bullying. They found that 42% of kids had been bullied online, and 1 out of 4 were repeated offenders. A whopping 35 % had been threatened, and nearly 1 out of 5 had this happen more than once. 21% had received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages, and 58% admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online, where 4 out of 10 say it repeatedly happened.

On the flip side, 53% of the kids admitted to having said something mean or hurtful to another person. More than 1 out of 3 had done it more than once. And an astounding 58% did not tell their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened online.

Don't think even if it is a child at school that the school will handle it. Schools have been sued by cyberbullies and the bullies have won. However, a school may educate and inform you on how best to handle the situation for you and your child.

There are ways you can fight back. But first we must understand a few facts. There are 3 ways of cyberbullying:

1. Sending mean, hurtful or threatening messages via electronic communication (e-mail, IM, text, posts to social networking sites).

2. Pretending to be someone you're not in order to embarrass or harass a person. (Pretending to be someone you're not in order to gain access to personal information is not only cyberbullying, it's identity theft.

3. Posting pictures or video of another person in order to harass or embarrass that person.

Cyberbullying is actually more hurtful and unsafe than any other type of bullying because:

The victim has no safe place! Most people who are bullied can go home to escape the abuse and bullying. But with cyberbullying the harassment always follows the victim through their cell phones and computers.
The victim sees the messages over and over again! Victims of cyberbullying usually read the hurtful messages trying to figure out why they are being bullied. This repetitive confusion and self-doubt has a severe effect on the child.
Cyberbullying is viral! Schoolyard bullying usually only involves a few individuals. With cyberbullying, the whole world is privy to the child's humiliation.

Different Types of Bullies:

Control Bully: this person bullies to gain control--they believe that they can only have relationships and friendships if they control the other person.
Victim--Now Bully: this happens a lot in cyberbullying--where the victim starts to bully the bully
The Mean Bully: this person thinks that it's funny to put others down because they're making people laugh
I Didn't Mean To Bully: this person doesn't really think of themselves as a bully. They usually act without thinking, and later when confronted will truly feel remorse, because they didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Although Bullies can be motivated by jealousy, they are primarily motivated strong dislike of others and power and control.

Never think you can fix the bully
You can't stop a bully from controlling others
You can't make a bully like his/her victim
You can't even ignore a bully
The only thing you can do--is change you-- you can help yourself/child to understand why you're/they're being bullied, take back the control, and build up your/their self-esteem

Protecting Your Yourself & Your Kids

STOP: When you/your child sees a negative message, don't respond to it.
BLOCK: You/Your child should immediately block this person from sending any further messages.
REPORT: You/Your Child should print out any negative/bullying messages and tell someone right away. The sooner this is acted upon the sooner it will stop.

You Can Stop Cyberbullying--It's Your Choice

There are 4 People Who Play A Part In Cyberbullying:

1. The Bully--person directly involved, who's sending the messages
2. The Victim--person who is being bullied
3. The Bystander--person who knows about it but does nothing good or bad (so they are bullying by not getting help for the person)
4. The Advocate--person is who, although not directly involved, chooses to confront the bully about the situation and attempt to stop the bullying

The best way to stop cyberbullying is by educating yourself/your kids about these important things, and if you want to make sure you/your kids stay safe online is with remove it now @
http://www.removeitnow.com/Cyber-Bullying1.html

MTV has also created a new campaign "A Thin Line" to raise awareness about digital and text abuse. Read more http://www.care2.com/causes/womens-rights/blog/textual-harassment-and-digital-abuse-cell-phones-facebook-and-twitter-oh-my/

Resources from this article came from: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/04/how_to_really_talk_to_your_kids_about_cyberbullying.php

Fear Of Being Bullied

2010-06-26T06:16:00.012-04:00

Do you live in fear every day? Did you stop going certain places for fear you'd be bullied? Have you become a prisoner in your own home?

An estimated 160,000 children stay home from school every day for fear of being bullied. 30 % of all parents fear that their child will be hurt at school. And four out of ten kids are bullied or know someone who is.

My son, Jeremiah, was one of those kids. He was bullied in the 5th grade all the way until his junior year. His self-esteem dropped to an all time low. He feared going to school. He feared being around other kids. And he feared leaving the house.

Jeremiah would always make excuses for not wanting to go places. I thought he was just getting older and didn't want to hang out with us. But he had developed a severe panic disorder from the bullying he suffered. For a time he totally isolated himself for fear no one would accept him.

Thankfully we got him help and he now helps in our program "Take A Bite Out Of Abuse" by sharing his story and songs that he wrote to help others.

Signs Your Child Is Living In Fear Of Being Bullied:

-Say their sick and can't go to school

-Say they don't want to go places they used to enjoy going

-Say they don't want to join groups (basketball, karate, etc)

-Stay home all the time and don't want to go anywhere

-Stop hanging out with friends or make excuses not to

Some Ways You Can Help Them Conquer Their Fears

-Talk with them about the situation

-Get them into a counselor/therapist

-See your regular doctor in case they might need some medication

-Don't allow them to isolate themselves

-Require them to come along to all events and family outings, letting them know that if they feel panic coming on, you'll be there for them, and if they need to get some air, that's okay

-Require them to join a group of their choosing, but be ready to talk, listen, and intervene if bullying should start there too

*For more information or to see what we are doing to fight back, log onto our website @ http://www.abusebites.com

"All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be nothing at all. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid." Isaiah 41:11-14a